Monday, May 28, 2007

Inducement or induction/

Balboa Naval Hospital, May 28,1971
Early morning.

It seems to me that the first attempt to induce me was some kind of pills under my tongue with no success.

Then the doctor broke my water, with no success.

Finally a petocin drip was started and I remember the success was fast and hard and strong. There was another mother in the same labor room with me who was having a hard time with her labor and was screaming loudly. I was focusing and breathing because of my self help Lamaze and was refusing any drugs. I was praised many times by the nurses and doctors. Soon I was transferred to a gurney wheeled into the delivery room. I broke down and consented to an epidural. And right soon . . . . .IT'S A GIRL!!!

I heard someone say they bet she would be a record 2 feet. I was wheeled into recovery and told to massage my uterus. I asked a nurse when I would get to see my baby. She told me, "At least eight hours, but probably not til the ten o'clock feeding. But, if they ever make a mistake I hope they will for you."

Then I was taken to the ward to join the other 40 new mothers. I followed all their instructions to the letter and counted the hours til I would see my baby. At 6am a train of babies were wheeled in. I laid in my bed so bummed that I would have to wait another four hours. Then I heard my name being called. I sprang up to a sitting position. They laid her in my arms. This beautiful memory is causing me to tear up as I write this. She was incredibly gorgeous with lots of long dark hair on a beautifully shaped head. I put her to my breast and she started to nurse. She and one other of the 40 babies on the ward nursed. A nurse that had been helping the other mother who was having a difficult time, came over to help me and was surprised I wasn't having any trouble at all. I waited as long as possible to return her to the train of carts that would take her away from me til the next feeding. The babies were brought to the mothers for feedings every four hours starting at 6am, except at 2am when the babies were fed in the nursery. I had requested they not give my baby anything but water, because that is what was suggested by La Leche.

My beautiful baby girl was 9 pounds 6 1/2 oz and was 23 1/4 inches long. I went in on Friday and left the hospital on Monday. I actually weighed less than I did when I got pregnant and was the only new mother leaving that day wearing clothes. All the others had to wear their robes or maternity clothes because they couldn't fit into 'real' clothes. I have always been quite proud of that.

When we got her home my Mom and I gave her a bath and while I was drying her off in my lap she stood up!!! She slept in a bassinet and would scootch up til she could go no further because she was so long. And her feet corresponded to her length, so all the beautiful booties my Mom had knit for her were too small. All her nighties were those 'Sweetpea' things I loved so much that tied at the bottom. She wore them for such a long time with the strings taken out. But, then she also wore cloth diapers.

She has become a most amazing woman.


Sunday, May 27, 2007


Ten Things That Make My Life Wonderful

Special K -toni has tagged me for another meme. Probably because I have had nothing to say, because I don't want to whine. I just left some great advice on marsha's blog that I should be following. So, right now my life is not wonderful, but I think it is wonderful that I am still alive.

So many of you have taken off like rockets in your blogs with new looks and all kinds of tricky stuff. Some of it makes me dizzy, but also amused and proud.

I remember when we used to write letters by hand and put them in the mail. It was always difficult for me to finish them and get them mailed. Ten, fifteen pages and extra postage was common, as well as finding unfinished letters months later. I am sorta kinda feeling like that right now.

So on with the meme..........

Here is my list of 10 things in my life that give me pleasure. I make my life wonderful.

1. My cozy warm blanket. It is incredibly soft and warm and is the color of the coffee with cream that I drink in the morning. I cuddle on the sofa in it and add it to my side of the bed when there's a chill.

2. My bed. The name of it is nebula and it is out of this world and a king.

3. "Little Car"- a zippy little Hyundai Accent.

4. Talking on the phone with my closest friend who lives across the country and doesn't blog.

5. Bathtub drain stopper. Something I wanted to invent myself. I goes on the overflow drain of our long deep tub so the water level can be higher. I love a deep hot bath with a good book.

6. Green beans and snow crab legs which I've said before and will probably say again.

7. The view out my kitchen windows.

8. TV

9. My husband, children and grandchildren.

10. Bloggers in all different kinds of packages that have opened up my world. I feel much better after sharing with you all!!

This is a great meme if you're needing a boost. Let me know if you do it. I'm running out of steam.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Graduation day gone wild

May 18, 2007


This was the day we looked forward to for three years. This day was the reason we moved almost 800 miles almost four years ago. This day was the reason I tiptoed around in our marriage the past three years so as not to disturb the learning process. Most of all though, this was the day my husband had been working like a dog for, for three grueling years. Really. I know how hard he worked and how much he sacrificed for this day.

The day before we attended a reception to honor top scholars. He was THE top scholar in the UNR MBA graduate program, summa cum laude with a 4.0. It was a proud day.

May 18 though was THE day. I carefully ironed his gown and he carefully hung it in the car. We left in plenty of time to make it to the graduation ceremony, find a parking space and assemble with the other members of the graduating class for advanced degrees at 4:00 p.m. for the the processional at 4:30. About halfway there the freeway traffic slowed to a standstill.

"Oh, no!" I said.

The traffic would creep forward a car length or two and stop.

"Probably an accident." one of us said. We began to talk about the last time we were stuck on I-80 like this. It took us over 3 hours to get off the freeway. As the minutes ticked by and it was closer and closer to 4:00 p.m. we began to lament.

"The Lord does not mean for me to get there on time," my husband said.

"I wonder what He's trying to tell you," I said. And my husband laughed, I guess cause I say that a lot.

At four my husband called work wife, who was waiting at the UNR quadrangle, to let her know that we were stuck in traffic on I 80. While he was talking the traffic started moving better and then the reason for the delay was apparent. A wildfire had swept across the hills threatening to cross the freeway. We joined her after the ceremony had already begun.

I can count on my fingers the times in my life that I felt as badly as I did sitting there next to my husband listening to them not announce his name, not seeing him cross the stage in the cap, gown and hood that had been so carefully tended to and that he was so proud of (tears are falling right now remembering the sadness). It was torture and I wanted to run away, so I can't imagine how much harder it was for him to sit there next to me. It was supposed to be such a joyous, proud event. As soon as the last graduate had crossed the stage I turned to my husband and announced his name, Master of Business Administration, summa cum laude, and applauded for him. He still graduated of course, but, the parade was rained on big time. Coincidentally, while walking on the sidewalk back to the parking garage the sprinklers came on and doused us. It kinda broke the morbid tension too.

We, all three the graduate, his wife and his work wife went out to a lovely place for dinner. You know where there are white table clothes so I can drip balsamic vinegar on it from dipping wonderful herb crusty chewy bread in it. I had three delicious huge (no really huge) prawns wrapped in prosciutto, grilled, stood with tails in the air in yummy garlic mashed potatoes finished with a heavenly creamy cheesy wine sauce, green beans and those skinny little 3" carrots that they leave part of the tops on. The graduate had a unique chicken Parmesan and work wife had lasagna (which is what I think we actually all wanted), which came with separate pieces of the best Italian sausage (she gave me a bite) I have ever eaten. We all passed on dessert.

We able to laugh about it today and I suggested what he might be meant to learn from this experience. I know, I know, I shouldn't have, but bad habits are hard to break. When he went off to work this evening he took stuff to work on a resume' during his breaks. So, all is well now and I am looking forward to reconnecting to my husband now that I don't have to worry about the learning process anymore, but, darn I sure wished it hadn't happened this way.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

I hope it is all in my head

Out of character

Please, I need advice. Someone I deeply love has recently done a 180 and I don't know what to do about it. At first I thought it was me. I have been working towards my authentic self and thought perhaps the changes I've made were being tested. Weird things keep popping up. When I share them with others whose opinions I trust, they agree that something out of the ordinary must be happening in this persons life. I am torn between: If it is something I needed to know I would have been told and what if I'm missing a scream for help. I've missed calls and been unable to call but did finally email asking what's up.

I fear sticking my nose in where it isn't wanted and fear ..... well ..... fear rejection ..... and perhaps denial ..... or that I will find out that it is all in my head.

If I have done something, I am completely unaware of what it could be. Once a long time ago one of my bestfriends stopped writing to me (I was in Guam and she was in Washington state), and not only did I not notice, I had no idea that I had said something that would upset her so much that she wouldn't correspond for two years (this was in the old days!). I would have liked to have been able to clear up what turned out to be a misunderstanding, sooner. Something similar happened with the person I am concerned about more than ten years ago and I just found out three or four years ago why.

Anyway, I digress .... I would like to hear how you might respond in a similar situation.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

ABC - that's how elementary it's going to be.......

meno tagged me for the abc meme.

A. Attached or single-attached.
B. Best friend- contact with my best friend in high school has dwindled to occasional cards the last several other best friend of almost 25 years lives across the country....we call each other often and I have visited her several times, though not recently.
C. Cake or pie-a dark, moist, dense carrot cake or my own apple or cherry pie.
D. Drink of choice-water, water and more water. .... coffee; Starbuck's House Blend with heavy whipping cream .....equal parts Dewars scotch and white creme d' menthe on the rocks.
E. Essential item-fountain pen....and either peacock or purple ink cartridges. Writing just isn't the same without them.
F. Favorite color-yellow. And I just recently realized this. I've always loved yellow but was never able to wear it, so even I thought green was my favorite color because it was the color I wore most often and that I decorated my house with .
G. Gummi bears or worms-really soft squishy gummi bears like we first had 28 years ago in Germany.
H. Hometown-I would have to say Seattle, though I now live and have lived many other places.
I. Indulgence-floating.
J. January or February-February because my grandson was born in February.
K. Kids- One of each. Both wonderful human beings.
L. Life is incomplete without-love
M. Marriage date-December 11, 1976
N. Number of siblings-1 1/2, both brothers, one I've never laid eyes on and one hasn't spoken to me since our stepfather died 7 years ago.
O. Oranges or is easier to select good apples.
P. Phobias/fears-fears.....many and varied. I was cured of my bee phobia.
Q. Favorite quote-"Dumb as dirt" and "Life is about the journey not the destination".
R. Reasons to smile-grandchildren, son, daughter, husband (not at this moment), babies, puppies, kittens, penguins, bunnies, hugs, kisses, flowers, some rocks make me smile, strawberries, when I look in the mirror and like what I see (more often lately), friends, many songs, memories, today not much.
S. Seasons-watching spring happen is my favorite.
T. Tags- toni
U. Unknown fact about me-I can't think of any facts about me that I haven't at some point told someone.
V. Vegetarian or oppressor of animals-I am prejudiced towards neither.
W. Worst habit- chewing my cuticles til they bleed and blogging.
X. X-rays or ultrasound-this is a weird question but it is a well known fact that I hate mammograms.
Y. Your favorite foods-snow crab, green beans, pasta in cream sauce, pizza.
Z. Zodiac- Sagittarius