Saturday, August 18, 2007

Ten things I like about myself


Well, no one asked me to do this, so why am I torturing myself?

Good exercise.

1) I like that I paint amazing watercolors. I also draw really well. I like to say that I studied art in Europe cause it sounds cool. And I did really, when my husband was in the Air Force and we were stationed in Germany. One of the other wives was an art teacher and taught in her home. She was very good and I learned a lot about drawing, mixing colors, perspective, etc. And it was an inspiration for me to keep playing with it. After my husband retired from the Air Force 23 years later I decided to treat myself to some professional watercolors after reading several books on the subject from the library. I played around and was surprised at how good what I painted was. So, I signed up for watercolor classes that were being offered through the City Parks and Recreation Dept. I surprised myself, my teacher and everyone who saw my paintings. I joined an art group and a watercolor group shortly after we moved here. The watercolor group met only once to paint together. The art group met the second Tuesday of every month. There were all kinds of media represented. Once a year in July they had an "Art Sale, House and Garden Tour". I wasn't ready to sell any of my paintings at the first sale, but I displayed some. The night before the event my sister in law died and I was unable to attend. I was later told that my paintings were very well received and I could have sold them all if I'd wanted to. I haven't really painted anything seriously since then. I have been planning one though.

2) I like that I love babies and that they love me. This has been so since I was a very small child, 6 or 7 years old.

3) I like that I will stand up for others, even strangers. A recent example was when I was checking out at Ross several months ago. A young woman was arguing with a cashier at another register, in a very loud voice, about not being able to get cash back for an item she was returning without a receipt and asked for the manager. The cashier sent her over to the cashier who was checking me out She started cussing and screaming and I just spoke up and said, "Now wait a minute. I don't care how upset you are, that kind of language is totally uncalled for." She looked at me and I kept my eyes glued to hers. She said something, though I don't remember what (except that it didn't contain cuss words), turned around in a huff , grabbed the article she was trying to get cash for from the counter at the other register and went out the door. I was like frozen. The cashier said, "Thank you so much. She has been in here before causing trouble." I said, "Well that was uncalled for." I may have said other stuff before I picked up my package and walked halfway to the door before I realized that I hadn't paid for my stuff yet. So, I turned around, saw everyone was staring at me, walked back, apologized and paid. My husband tells me all the time that I don't have to be the "Policewoman of the World", and I have repressed this trait in me, especially when I am with him. But, I am just now realizing that he doesn't like it because he does not like confrontation. Hmmmmmmm.......

4) I like that I will tell you if your slip is showing (though many of you may not even know what a slip is!), if you come out of the restroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe, will tuck in the label of your blouse or let you know you have mayonnaise on the corner of your mouth. Because I would be grateful if you told me. Sorta like #3.

5) I like that I have beautiful natural dark blond hair with golden highlights and only a few wisps of white by my ears ( which is not visible unless I pull my hair back). Most women my age have been totally gray for years. Woooo who.....

6) I like that I have not given up.

7) I like that I rise to an occasion, step up to the plate, generously lend a hand, am willing to take charge if no one else is.

8) I like that I am empathetic. Extremely so.

9) I like that I had all those boulders in my life to push aside, go around, over or under. As a result I am stronger, wiser, have more faith, more love, more patience, more understanding and compassion.

10) I like that I have always wanted to know things and would go on long expeditions in my mind until I was satisfied.

10a) I like that I quit smoking one year, five months, two weeks and one day ago. It is not that I don't still want to have just one, every once in awhile. It is like wanting to jump a tall dark and handsome strangers bones, but know I won't.

10b) I like that I raised two beautiful babies that grew into beautiful adults.

10c) I like that I am finally realizing what it feels like to love myself.

This is easier once you get started!!! I would recommend it to anyone that stops by who hasn't done it already.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Poetry Pity Party

Conflicting Convictions

I want to cry,
so I sigh.
No one takes me seriously,
because I bluster
and posture
and have conflicts
that divide
my convictions
and conflicting
til I'm back where I started
with fears
and tears.