Wednesday, February 28, 2007


(I really did go four weeks past my due date!)

I have relived this time over and over for thirty five years. It plays differently inside my head than it does written down. I inadequately described the joy I felt the day I was told that, for the first time, I was pregnant.

Right away I bought books on the subject. There weren't many then. It was hippy time and I got a book on having your baby in the middle of the woods in a tent and drinking raspberry tea and naming your baby names like Peaches and Flower. Though they were in their infancy I got the Lamaze and La Leche books. I followed them religiously, practicing breathing and roughing up my nipples in preparation for breastfeeding. (When Lucky was born, there was just one other woman in a ward of 40 new mothers who breastfed.) Everyday I ate the same recommended diet that I remember included an egg, an orange, a tomato and milk. I quit smoking. I had two baby showers, one Hawaiian with poi, opihi and ahi with seaweed. The other in "Ye Olde Plank Inn", a bar at Pacific Beach, California where gifts were piled high on one of the pool tables and food on another.

The gift I remember most was a yellow and white check gingham giraffe diaper hanger from the close friend I named Lucky after. She surprised me by driving down from New Port Beach to attend the shower in Pacific Beach. Remind me to tell you about her.

Well, it seems that looking for old pictures to post has caused me to rearrange my "studio". When we moved in here two years and one month ago, I arranged the two white laminate dressers I use for my "instruments of creation" and other junk, abutting a window wall without realizing that I wouldn't be able to open the top drawer of one of the dressers. I had a love seat for one of my grandchildren to sleep on when they came to visit, next to them. I had already filled all the drawers and the cupboards sitting on top of the dressers, as well as packing to move, going through the snow storm of the century, unpacking and I just couldnn't ......until

To be continued also...

Sunday, February 25, 2007


I've loved babies, probably since I was a baby? I should say all my life. My Mom was always taking care of other peoples babies and I was always fascinated with them. Then when I was 9 I babysat for the first time for a 6 month old boy for 30 minutes while his grandma and my Mom went to the grocery store, It would be a few more years until I babysat regularly. But, when I did I loved it and was popular with both the kids and parents.

So, by the time I married in 1966 I was SOOOOOO anxious to have a baby. We used no birth control and every month I was disappointed every fourth Friday when my period would arrive without fail.

Four years later circumstances made it a bad idea to become pregnant. So I stopped anticipating. I'd been having a lot of UTIs and was scheduled for x-rays. The day before I called to say that for the first time since I started having them, my period was nine days late. I was told to bring in a urine sample. I delivered it the next morning and waited for my appointment. I was ushered into the doctor and sat down.

"I wouldn't x-ray you for all the tea in China," he said to me.


"Because the test was positive."

"For what?"

"You are pregnant."

I was so thrilled.! I told everyone I passed on the way home.

I should go see if I can find the picture my Mom took of me the day before Lucky was born.

I had gestational diabetes that was called "Class A diabetes" then, at about 36 weeks I was hospitalized because of weight gain. My bed was foot to foot with a woman with a heart condition who was having twins and my! what a mountain! On my right was a young woman from Trinidad who was too sick to keep anything but saltines down for three months. I had a doctor who wore clogs. We all laughed about it and giggled when we heard him coming. I was anxious to get out of there and remember all my roommates cheering for me.
After three weekly visits with the doctor telling me I would deliver at any moment I was induced on May 28, 1971.
Now I will need to go find a new born pic of Lucky. I will post this first because of how long it took me to find the prego pic, scan and post it. The greatest amount of time was spent browsing through all the albums. It was very pleasant and I recommend it.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Stolen From Tired Mummy

"We wait all these years to find someone who understands us, I thought, someone who accepts us as we are, someone with a wizard's power to melt stone to sunlight, who can bring us happiness in spite of trials, who can face our dragons in the night, who can transform us into the soul we choose to be. Just yesterday I found that magical Someone is the face we see in the mirror: It's us and our homemade masks.-Richard Bach

Monday, February 05, 2007


My husband and I had a conversation a few days ago after a big blowup because I told him "Will you say something?" I often do because I think he never listens to me. To which he went through the ceiling. Well not actually. My heart was broken and I was ready to shut the hole in the ceiling and not let him back in when he said, "I didn't know you were through talking."

It was like a light bulb went off for me. I apologized. We went on to have that conversation I first mentioned and to laugh.

I am now making an effort to be aware of the fact that I don't finish my thoughts out loud. I have wondered what was going on when people would look at me expectantly while I waited for a response. I often thought it was because they were rude or.....well, stupid (ewww). I have expected people to read my thoughts. Is this the ultimate laziness, or what!

We tease about my husband being my interpreter. It no longer sounds so funny.

Can anyone finish my thought here?

Thursday, February 01, 2007


I wish I knew how I got here, so I would be able to get here sooner next time.

Every day for almost a year I have been saying today is the day. At the end of the day I would discover I had been wrong. I hadn't changed that which I had intended to change.

For almost a week now I have had the resolve. I have changed that which I had intended to change and I know it is not temporary.

Do any of you relate or know how to get to the resolve sooner or have a map you use or.....