receiving

I remember the Christmas that he asked me to give him a list and he bought me everything that was on the list. I was blown away and amazed. I thanked him profusely and then ...."But, you're not supposed to get everything on the list, cause then there's no surprise," I told him. That was the last time that happened.
Then there was that Anniversary when we had to attend a black tie event and he gave me a gift in the middle of dinner with more than a hundred people surrounding us. It was so romantic. I thanked him profusely and then when we were alone...."That was so embarrassing and inappropriate," I told him. That was the last time that happened.
So now I gift myself. Our anniversary, my birthday and Christmas all come within two weeks of each other. I will buy stuff and give it to my husband to wrap for me with directions for which gift is for which occassion.
Haunting me most though is the Christmas when my daughter was about thirteen and gave me a fabulous knife set. "You spent much too much on this and must return it," I told her. Consequently she forgets me or is late on most gift giving occasions.
Not to leave my son untainted, I pretty much made the choices for him, stood over him while he wrapped them and later wrapped and sent them for him. So, now that he lives in another state, is there any wonder why he doesn't even attempt gift selecting, wrapping or sending.
I've done a lot of examining of my life and I know there are lots of explanations for why I reacted to gifts the way I did. I certainly didn't expect those reactions to have created the results that they have.